Strive for Happines
Happiness is that condition when you no longer feel the need to strive for happiness.
In other words, the path to happiness paradoxically consists in stopping trying to be happy; Stop believing that you should be happy; Stop believing that you have the right to be happy … because these ways of approaching you will make you unhappy.
The problem we face is that we are trying to use a survival system (our rational mind, that is, our thoughts) to be happy – a task that never evolved and is decidedly not done. The observing part of our mind and our bodies are much more useful.
Happiness is an emerging phenomenon. This means that you can not do something to make it happen; you can only create the conditions in which you can increase the chances of it arising. Think of the phenomenon of the murmur of starlings – the beautiful, spontaneously formed, captivating patterns created when thousands of starlings congregate. The individual starling can only do his part as best he can. The results, however, cut off the breath.
Peace and happiness are always there, inside us, like the deep, calm water that lies a few meters below the tormented surface of the sea. However, if your point of view is limited to the ship on the surface of the sea, you can not see, nor experience the tranquility that is always there – constant, immutable and unaffected by the ephemeral disturbances of the surface.
The natural state of our mind is one of peace and equanimity. The disturbances of this tranquility are created not by the events of life, but by our thoughts about such events.
Our main task is to “take ourselves out of the way” so that we can experience the peace and connection that we carry within us – always. When I say “get out of the way” I mean reassure our rational mind, see our thoughts for what they are – just mental events that arise, exist for a while and then fade away – calm the constant mental chatter that shakes the surface of our mind what that makes tranquility invisible.
Happiness is not found in the purchase or in the accumulation of things. The pleasant feeling we have when we buy a new car is nothing more than feeling momentarily free of desire – a wish ironically created by the people who make the car on the principles.
We all love to receive clear instructions – a type 1 guide), 2), 3) … a), b), c). Each person is different and therefore happiness will look different for each person. However, the essence is the same. I share the following:
The “sacred” norm, the basis, is to know and accept yourself as you are.
Let’s make it clear, this is a project that will take you more or less … the rest of your life, so start accepting this. There is no shortcut. But do not lose hope. We started to focus on beneficial changes as soon as we took the first step on “the road”. Most people overestimate what they can achieve in a year but seriously underestimate what they can achieve in ten years. So let patience and humility be your traveling companions.
The daily practice of meditation with an attitude of open curiosity, caring towards yourself and sense of humor, provides a platform and a different and much more useful point of view – an anchor in the present moment, that is, in such a reality How is it. When we respond to reality as it unfolds in the present (instead of responding to our concepts / unconscious thoughts about reality), we get out of our normal “autopilot” and open the door to doing things differently. Let patience and humility be your guides.
Two more things: Gratitude and compassion:
Thank you: Evolution equipped us to survive and not to be happy. This means that we have a natural tendency to find ourselves attracted to negative experiences. If during your day nine good things happen to you and one thing is not very pleasant, you will usually remember the unpleasant thing. This is a distortion that we already know exists and it makes sense to correct it. The habit of gratitude helps us to be more present in our lives. It also fills our hearts with joy when we appreciate, for example, the simple but miraculous fact of being alive and having the gift of consciousness.
compassion for others and for ourselves. Compassion in this sense has nothing to do with pity; it is simply the recognition of a truth, that is: everyone wants to be happy and everyone wants to avoid suffering. Compassion is recognizing the suffering we share with everyone (produced by ignorance) and the desire to alleviate it. Self-esteem without self-pity is arrogance – something essentially empty that usually hides deep insecurity or shame. With self-pity, true self-esteem will emerge as a natural consequence.