Things that Make You Unhappy
When things go smoothly in our life it is easy to feel happy. But the really complicated thing is to be good with yourself and not fall into sadness when things get complicated. Obviously, when it comes to being happy, our environment counts. Now, the person who ultimately decides to be right or wrong is you.
Being happy all the time is impossible, but it is possible to avoid a series of harmful habits that lead us to unhappiness. Accepting that not being happy at that moment is not being unhappy, fighting for your dreams or spending more time with family or friends are behaviors that can help us to be in a more or less lasting state of happiness.
Harmful habits typical of unhappy people
But what habits or customs are typical of chronically unhappy people? What are the characteristics of individuals who spend most of their time in a state of unhappiness? In the following lines we explain them to you.
1. They are too critical of themselves
Loving yourself is not always easy, because we live in a highly competitive society. But recognizing your self worth and your strengths can help you be happy and increase your self-confidence.
Having high self-confidence makes others respect you, and most importantly, shows that you respect yourself. Chronically unhappy people tend to be disrespectful and critical of themselves all the time. So it is important to accept the negative things that can happen to us in life and to recognize that we all make mistakes. Also ourselves.
2. They are constantly lamenting
And of course, accepting mistakes is not always easy, but it is possible. After all, getting out of this negative spiral is an attitude we adopt. If we know how to recognize when we are carrying out certain harmful habits, it is possible to change them. Unhappy people are constantly lamenting, and instead of reacting.
3. They deny reality
Chronically unhappy people often deny reality. They prefer not to face problems for fear of having to face them. For example, it is easier to make excuses if we get kicked out of work than to assume that we may have done something wrong.
Denying problems does not make them go away. On the contrary, there may be a rebound effect that makes them even bigger. This is a defense mechanism that can make people chronically unhappy.
4. Blame others
One of the most common reactions when not facing reality is to blame others. For example, if you get kicked out of work, it’s easier to blame your boss for not understanding you than to assume that you may not be doing your job the way you should.
Chronically unhappy people use these kinds of strategies to reduce the suffering or anxiety that comes from looking at life head-on. Without a doubt, an act of cowardice.
5. Stay in your comfort zone
The comfort zone is a state of mind that does not allow personal growth. It is a place that in the short term may seem nice, but in the long term it can make you extremely unhappy. And it is that the anxiety that some people feel for the fear of uncertainty, can make them stagnate in this mental state that is not at all positive.
6. Seek the approval of others
Chronically unhappy people seek happiness where they shouldn’t. These types of individuals spend a lot of time thinking about what other people think of them, so they are more pending the approval of others than to find and pursue what they really like.
This mistake can be fatal to self-esteem and is a harmful habit that unhappy people use. To learn more, read the article: “Tips to stop thinking about what other people think of you”
7. They don’t live in the present
Chronically unhappy people live immersed in their expectations and do not enjoy the here and now, that is, the present. They can also live from the past, so they live far from the present reality, and do not connect with themselves. With the ruminant mind of these types of individuals, one can hardly be happy.
Mindfulness has been shown to be associated with higher levels of emotional well-being and happiness.
8. Focus on what you don’t have
If you do not value what you have and focus on what you do not have, you will surely not be happy. Chronically unhappy people think that way and focus on material things to be happy. True happiness is found in the little things in life. Happiness is in oneself, not in others or in objects.
9 Not Having Discovered Your Purpose
Be careful, here you have to take into account that there is a time for everything, and perhaps it is not the right time for you to know what your mission in life is.
This does not have to make you feel bad.
However, there are people who never wonder what their purpose is, what they want to do in the world.
And they end up getting a job they don’t like, being with people they don’t want, sometimes even marrying those people.
Why? Because they don’t truly follow their heart.
And while it may sound a little “cheesy,” the truth is, we should all live a life where we can be happy every day.
Regardless of the results, without expecting that we will achieve it through other people, the government, an amount of money.
But day by day happiness is part of our life naturally.
And this is only possible through carrying out your purpose in life.
And to discover it you must start working right away to really think about what life you want to live.
A life that allows you to feel proud and satisfied until your last day of life.
10 Seek To Be A Person You Are Not
Wanting to follow other people and trying to achieve what other people are achieving because it is normal, it is what everyone does, or whatever social conditioning is around this.
11 Don’t Overcome The Past
The truth is that we have all made mistakes, we have all made decisions that we neither wanted nor remember …
But, at the same time, you have to think that all those things you did there led you to what you are TODAY, to what you know today and to the person you can become tomorrow.
And more than thinking about what was wrong in the past (maybe it was, maybe not) is thinking about how your present is.
And if your present is to be focused on that past, you will never get out of that vicious cycle.
But if, on the contrary, today you make that decision to transform your life, in the future you will thank yourself.
12 Don’t Be Healthy
Eat well, sleep well, and exercise.
When some of these things are not right in our lives, when we lack physical activity, food and hydration are not at their best, and we are sleeping poorly …
Obviously this is going to affect us mentally.
13 Want to be very perfectionist
Another thing that can happen to you, surely like me, is being a perfectionist, and waiting for things to be at their maximum and perfect level before making them effective.
And the truth is that sometimes we expect this perfection without even having knowledge, learning, experiences.
When most of the time, this knowledge, learning and experiences are obtained by making bad decisions, making imperfect progress …
Because as human beings perfection really does not exist.
14 Feeling Unsure of Yourself and Fearing Failure
We have all feared failure at times, for that fear of looking bad to other people, ridiculing us, disappointing our children, parents, friends or family.
And the truth is that, although these are perhaps optimal reasons to at some point make a decision and try to achieve success, give your best effort, do things well …
It can also prevent you from taking action in principle, it can paralyze you completely and just for fear of things going wrong, don’t even try.
And people who never try, never succeed.
15 Stop Learning
Some thought that studying university, college, and a diploma was enough, that this was education.
The truth is that we all can and should learn every day.
Not only from books, nor from other adults … Also from children, adolescents, the past, thinking about the future, the philosophy of mathematics, video games, and many many other things.
If we do not, we are obviously going against our own happiness.
16 Don’t spend time on yourself
When was the last time you went to a spa, that you took a vacation, that you rested?
Not necessarily with your friends, with your family, with your children … with yourself.
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